Uni 101: Managing and Protecting Your Mental Health

In Nigeria, we often like to pretend that we don’t understand mental illness. We don’t like to talk about the various forms of mental illness like depression, anxiety etc. But, our denial doesn’t erase the factual truth – that mental illness very much exists here. And among students, its effects can be devastating because there are lots of reasons for one’s mental health to spiral downwards. There have been lots of reports and news coverage on the increasing high suicide rate among university students. 

So how do you manage your mental health as a student? How do you ensure that your mental health does not spin out of control?

1. YOU come FIRST:

It may often be branded as “selfishness” or “irresponsibility” or whatever fancy English word but the truth is that it is “self-love”. You’re like the fuel needed to get the vehicle to its destination. Without you, the vehicle shuts down, the journey ends halfway. You are the key, the lock, the everything. You are so important that without you, nothing will be achieved. So if you push yourself over the limit, if you push yourself over the cliff, the journey ENDS. All those plans of graduation and NYSC and finding the dream job ends. Put your mental health first. There may be days when you might break down psychologically, please don’t continue pressing on with all your brokenness. Find rest and healing first. When you feel like crying, please do. Don’t deny the overwhelming feeling of defeat you might get. Let yourself FEEL it. GO through it all. Trust me, you’ll come out on the other side stronger. Facing your feelings is always better than denying them.

2. Do not compete or compare:

You came alone in this world and you’ll definitely leave alone. Pray tell me, what exactly is the point of all these constant comparison and competition that we often indulge in? Comparing yourself to people you feel are better than you are telling yourself that you are not enough. This is very very wrong for your mental health. It is not unlikely to find some people who are constantly battling out being the best in a class. So when your competitor makes higher grade than you, it affects your morale. Can you see how bad that is for your mental health? Focus on yourself, on your journey and stop trying to look over to see what and how your neighbour is faring. It distracts you from reaching your destination. Go at your own pace.

3. Be proud of yourself:

I see a lot of C students struggle with self-esteem issues because they feel they’re not good enough. Seeing your classmates excel, hearing the lecturers extol them can be hurtful and do great damage to one’s morale. But darling, you’re not your classmates; you are YOU. When are you going to start being proud of YOU? I understand how hard it is to be confident in a world that has no space for mediocrity; a world that accepts excellence and greatness only. It can be hard, I know but it is also up to you to seize the power that the world has over you. Be proud of your Cs, especially when you know you did your possible best. 

4. Minimise/manage the stress:

If it is stressing you out, cut it off. You don’t have to deal with any unnecessary stress. Friendships and romantic relationships might be contributing to the depletion of one’s mental health. Please do some inner evaluation. Cut off the relationships that are affecting your mental health. Minimise your stress level. 

5. Know when to quit:

There should be no shame associated with “failing”. Nigeria has a way of shaming “drop-outs” or people who are unable to finish school “when their mates are finishing.” Nobody wants to go through the experience of hearing Nigerians call you a “drop-out” with so much contempt. Currently, there are lots of students struggling, barely hanging by a thread all in the bid to get a degree. Those who cannot take it anymore take their own lives. I don’t subscribe to the notion of forcing it when it is not meant to be. If you are strong enough to brave it all, then by all means but if you can’t, darling, please drop out or change to a department that will possibly stress you less. Go seek healing. Go seek help. Heal first and then come back if and when you want to. Schooling is best done when you are prepared for it. Know when to quit.