Uni 101: On Sharing Space (Types of Male Roommates)

In a previous article, I wrote about the types of female roommates one is likely to find in University rooms. This is another list for the type of male roommates you’re likely to find in universities. Have you ever been to a male hostel on campus? It’s a chronically disorganized, chaotic theater. It’s almost comical, the kind of different characters one can find there. Here are a few: 

1. The Party Lover:

This kind of roommate is usually the Director of Social. He’s always partying or organizing the dopest, biggest parties on campus. He’s popular. He doesn’t necessarily have to be handsome because whatever he lacks physically, he tries to make up for with his boisterous personality. Everyone knows him. He’s the life of the party. He KNOWS how to have fun. He spices up the mood-setting of any location he enters. He’s familiar with all the hot spots on and off-campus. He’s a nice guy to befriend if you’re trying to join the big boys club in school. But remember: Being a member of the big boys club comes with a price, a heavy price. Are you willing to pay the price? 

2. The F**k-boy:

He is a ladies’ man. He is familiar with almost every girl in every department of the school. He’s a popular charmer. He’s the kind that brings home different girls, every day. The girls love and hate him. They love how cute and romantic he looks. He makes them feel good about themselves for a while. He sleeps with them and then he dumps them and moves on to the next girl. Living with this type of roommate has its hassles because you’re constantly dealing with angry, pissed-off girls who are not for blood. 

3. The Activist/Politician:

This one is OBSESSED with “changing the world”. He wants to overthrow the school government, if possible. He thinks he is the next Martin Luther King. He’s always the leader of whatever organization he finds himself. He’s always finding faults in the present state of things in school. He organizes the protests. He types out the angry WhatsApp Broadcasts. He is always hunted for his loud, infuriating opinions. People adore him; they want to BE him. The problem with living with this type of person is that he is always trying to drag you into his plenty of idealist battles. He reads political books and expects you to follow his read. He won’t understand it if you don’t enjoy his type of books. He’s a bit of a dictator. 

4. The Annoying Bookworm:

He came to school for one thing and one thing only – his degree. He doesn’t care about anything else. He reads himself to sleep every day. He wants everyone around him to be as serious as he is. He thinks he is the greatest genius to ever exist since Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory. He’s irritating. His self-righteousness and arrogance is annoying. 

5. The Talkative:

He never shuts up. He’s the popular comedian on the campus. Everything is a joke to him. He’s also trying to launch his IG comedy career so expect your room to be turned into a low-budget studio. Sometimes, he’s so unfunny but you’ll have to laugh because you don’t want to kill his morale.

6. The Bouncer:

He is so heavily-built that you’d be scared of getting on his bad side. He’s not necessarily a bully; he dates a cute, small-build girl. But his physique scares you a lot. He can also be an ally especially when you get into trouble. You know he’s always got your back.

7.  The Unserious Student:

He’s always on the move. He never settles down. He did not come to school to study; he came to have fun. He doesn’t go to class. He doesn’t read his books. He couldn’t care less about school. 

8. The Businessman:

This one came to school to make money. He focuses on his businesses more than he does on his academics. He’s the mad genius who is always coming up with insane ideas. He’s the dedicated coder you’ll always find in the library, working furiously on his laptop. He’s building the next big thing since Facebook. He’s the most likely to drop out because once his business kicks off, he cannot cope with that and academics. Or he is one of those that’ll use the money to buy their degrees. 

9. The Bully/Cultist:

He abuses everyone around him. He generally enjoys causing others pain. He’s the kind of roommate that’ll constantly humiliate and abuse his effeminate neighbor. He wouldn’t bat an eye in killing his gay neighbor. He’s despicable. Avoid this kind of person.

10. The Perfect Roommate:

He’s a beautiful soul. He’s like a beautiful ray of sunshine. Living with him is like bubbling in heaven because he’s simply the best. Try to be this kind of roommate.